rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
