bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
