My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
be right there i have to get my cape
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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