Your mouth is God's brothel.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
