your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
