Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just invented taco cereal.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
