i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
So. Much. Porn.
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