I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
