It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
