is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
