I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
