I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
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