she was so not down for the gang bang
if i can run in heels then i can drive
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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