the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
