lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Can i not drive my cunt home
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
