i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
