please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
