So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
