38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
