just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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