Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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