You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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