We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
