he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
