OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
