i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
