so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
