I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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