Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He did a backflip because drugs
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