Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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