so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
