I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize