Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
