May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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