do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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