Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
