I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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