I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
