he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
