What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we made out on top of his cat.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
