your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
kristin has been a bad kristin
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
