lets start a swedish sibling band together
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
