i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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