i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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