I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
