THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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