Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
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