I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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