Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
