shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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