The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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