I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
